1984

All things considered this is not a bad series. It's just not a good series. Still, sometimes you just want fries with that, and this is like a Big Mac. You know it's not good for you but it tastes okay going down. Most of the time, anyway.

If all you want is "tune in and drop out" entertainment, read The Black Dagger Brotherhood now. It's not really anything you haven't read before (save a tweak here and there) but even with its stereotypical ideas of what's male and female it can be a fun ride sometimes. It's a real plus that Ward doesn't hate other women like Laurell K. Hamilton seems to, so they actually exist in the series and not necessarily as add-ons or afterthoughts juxtaposed as therapeutical devices for Sue-shining.

To her credit, Ward pays closer attention to the world she creates than most popular authors do and she also does a fair job of fleshing out characters; although over time, I think they start to lose their individuality. The real problem is that she sounds like a middle-aged woman trying too hard to be younger and "cool" when the characters are supposed to be young women, professional women and century-old vampires. Clearly, you can see the problem here. If you can forgive this or you yourself are a middle-aged woman trying to be cool then Ward's speaking your language and you'll probably like this series.

If Ward could only stop interjecting her out-dated ideas of what's trendy into the details I think this series would have turned out a lot better. Borrow a friend's copy or grab it at the library. The stories can make a fun travel or beach read.

Here's the deal: P.N. Elrod outshines every author in the genre. Why? Because the woman can tell a story, that's why. And just in case you're wondering, that's exactly why I read books in the first place - for the story - and The Vampire Files delivers.

Don't believe me? Fine. This is my take on the series to date..

You're a reporter, see? You're cool, you're in love, you're abandoned and you wake up dead. That's right, d-e-a-d dead. You wanna know why, doncha? Of course ya do! Meet Jack Fleming. He gets to try to solve his own murder... and it won't be as easy as you think.

Now if that isn't a start with a bang, I don't know what is. After all, what more could you want? Did you just say "everything"? So did I. But that's okay. Like I said, The Vampire Files delivers.

You like to read about the past? It's set in the 1930's. You like the glam and glitz of classic Hollywood? It's got night life, night clubs and night style. You like that mob kinda feel? It's set in Chicago. You want a romantic lead? Enter the tangible yet elusive Jack Fleming. You want vampires? That would be Fleming, too. You want romance? Meet his girlfriend, Bobbi. She's a singer in a club and she's hotter than Harlow and cooler than a young Hepburn. You want a mystery? Like I said, try solving your own death. Yearn for a sidekick that's far more than a mere sidekick? That would be Charles Escott, eclectic and intriguing and ever so British, the private detective ready to solve the case.

Are you with me yet? Well, you should be because this series is The Shit.

We got murder, mayhem and mystery. We got old time radio, diners, boats and stockyards. We got real rules to this familiar but fantasized world Elrod seduces us into and the rules don't change when it's convenient. We got well-fleshed characters that maintain and sharpen their identities over time throughout the series. Real plots. Real action. Real people.

Why are you reading this? Start with book one, Bloodlist. I know how hungry you really are after all the crap you've read over the years in an effort to quench your thirst for entertainment without sacrificing substance. You'll devour your way to Dark Road Rising, book twelve, in nothing flat and, like me, you'll be hoping she's working on lucky number thirteen.

See you in Escott's office. ;)